He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize