at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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