Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he thought i was a dude.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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