is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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