Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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