I'm laying in your front yard are you home
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
