i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
