So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
