I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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