Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
