zippers are such a cool invention
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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