I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
