All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
wat bout pragnant strippers??
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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