Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
