i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
