There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
