woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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