Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
