you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
