I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Found the puke drawer
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
