Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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