Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
