Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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