I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
