you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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