You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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