Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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