I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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