You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
