We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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