I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
