Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
