You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
