Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
