i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
As shirtless as possible
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
