do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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