i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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