You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
