I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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