The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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