there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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