she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
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its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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