It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You're so nebulous sometimes
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
