It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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