there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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