rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
