you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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