just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
