oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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