i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Boobs are out for the taking
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
