What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
