I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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