I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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