i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
