sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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